Written By: Laura Lorenzen, MSW and Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD
Anticipating the transition from high school to college can feel overwhelming for parents and teens, and especially so for teens with executive functioning challenges. Simply possessing strong academic competence is not enough to thrive in college. Students need strong academic self-advocacy skills in order to successfully navigate this life-changing transition.
For parents, approaching the shift from high school to college as a gradual process of moving your child from dependence to independence -- and beginning this process well before the transition to college -- can make this change far less daunting..
Understanding the differences between high school parenting and college parenting
You may be communicating closely with your child’s high school, discussing everything from the accommodations your child needs to their grades and even their homework assignments. Colleges, however, are prohibited by law from providing parents with any information regarding student accommodations, grades, or academic progress.
While students who have a diagnosed disability such as ADHD, a learning disability, or autism, are able to obtain accommodations in college, parents are not part of this process. Your child is viewed as an autonomous adult by the college and will need to independently ask for help, seek campus resources, and request learning accommodations.
Parents whose children have executive functioning challenges often provide support in other ways. You may currently help your child stay on top of homework assignments, manage time, and plan out when and how long-term assignments will be completed -- or work closely with your child’s teacher to do so. In college, that type of support can be provided by academic support staff or through the campus tutoring center, but your child will need to seek it out.
Steps you can take now to prepare your child for the transition to college
It’s never too early (or too late) to start preparing your child for this transition. There are a number of essential skills your child will need and that you can help them learn.
Ensure your child understands and can talk about their learning needs and the accommodations they will require to succeed in college.
Openly include your child in discussions about their needs and ask for their perspective on what tools help them learn.
Ensure your child can identify and seek out sources of information and help. Many teens are not familiar or comfortable independently asking for help; this is a critical skill that takes time and practice to master. Help your child practice this skill now, so that they are comfortable self-advocating later.
Build your child’s capacity to independently problem-solve and make sound decisions. Ask how they would solve a problem that arises, and help them think through the pros and cons of their solution.
Before they enter the college setting, allow your child to try and fail, as long as no lasting harm would occur from that failure. This will give your child crucial practice and an opportunity to safely learn from their mistakes.
Though it might be tempting to jump in to iron out difficulties your child is having, they’ll learn more and be better prepared for the future if instead they are guided and supported to find answers and solve problems on their own. Helping your child take charge of their academics doesn’t mean they have to do it alone. With the right self-advocacy skills, your child will be able to request accommodations in college, find needed campus resources, and comfortably ask for help -- the critical skills they will need to thrive on their own.
For more information about this topic, join us for our upcoming webinar:
College Readiness: Your Neurodiverse Teen and Academic Self-Advocacy
Tuesday, April 13, 7:00-8:00.
Register Here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMqdeyvqjssGNEdv66j5gqqLZFlYCpCldon
Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD, co-author of How to College: What to Know Before You Go (and When You’re There), is a college transitions educator and a former college professor and first-year administrator. Laura Lorenzen, MSW, founder of District Special Education Partners, provides parent coaching and IEP advocacy services. Her next parent class on “Supporting Your Disorganized Child” launches in late April.