College Readiness and Academic Self-Advocacy

Written By: Laura Lorenzen, MSW and Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD

Anticipating the transition from high school to college can feel overwhelming for parents and teens, and especially so for teens with executive functioning challenges. Simply possessing  strong academic competence is not enough to thrive in college. Students need strong academic self-advocacy skills in order to successfully navigate this life-changing transition.  

For parents, approaching the shift from high school to college as a gradual process of moving your child from dependence to independence -- and beginning this process well before the transition to college -- can make this change far less daunting..

Understanding the differences between high school parenting and college parenting

You may be communicating closely with your child’s high school, discussing everything from the accommodations your child needs to their grades and even their homework assignments. Colleges, however, are prohibited by law from providing parents with any information regarding student accommodations, grades, or academic progress.  

While students who have a diagnosed disability such as ADHD, a learning disability, or autism, are able to obtain accommodations in college, parents are not part of this process. Your child is viewed as an autonomous adult by the college and will need to independently ask for help, seek campus resources, and request learning accommodations.

Parents whose children have executive functioning challenges often provide support in other ways. You may currently help your child stay on top of homework assignments, manage time, and plan out when and how long-term assignments will be completed -- or work closely with your child’s teacher to do so. In college, that type of support can be provided by academic support staff or through the campus tutoring center, but your child will need to seek it out. 

Steps you can take now to prepare your child for the transition to college

It’s never too early (or too late) to start preparing your child for this transition. There are a number of essential skills your child will need and that you can help them learn. 

• Ensure your child understands and can talk about their learning needs and the accommodations they will require to succeed in college.

• Openly include your child in discussions about their needs and ask for their perspective on what tools help them learn.

• Ensure your child can identify and seek out sources of information and help. Many teens are not familiar or comfortable independently asking for help; this is a critical skill that takes time and practice to master. Help your child practice this skill now, so that they are comfortable self-advocating later.

• Build your child’s capacity to independently problem-solve and make sound decisions. Ask how they would solve a problem that arises, and help them think through the pros and cons of their solution.

• Before they enter the college setting, allow your child to try and fail, as long as no lasting harm would occur from that failure. This will give your child crucial practice and an opportunity to safely learn from their mistakes.

Though it might be tempting to jump in to iron out difficulties your child is having, they’ll learn more and be better prepared for the future if instead they are guided and supported to find answers and solve problems on their own. Helping your child take charge of their academics doesn’t mean they have to do it alone. With the right self-advocacy skills, your child will be able to request accommodations in college, find needed campus resources, and comfortably ask for help -- the critical skills they will need to thrive on their own.

For more information about this topic, join us for our upcoming webinar:

College Readiness: Your Neurodiverse Teen and Academic Self-Advocacy

Tuesday, April 13, 7:00-8:00.  

Register Here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMqdeyvqjssGNEdv66j5gqqLZFlYCpCldon

Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD, co-author of How to College: What to Know Before You Go (and When You’re There), is a college transitions educator and a former college professor and first-year administrator. Laura Lorenzen, MSW, founder of District Special Education Partners, provides parent coaching and IEP advocacy services. Her next parent class on “Supporting Your Disorganized Child” launches in late April. 

It's OK to Allow Room for Failure

Written by: Coach Alison Lake

As parents, we don't want to see our children struggle or fail in school. We do our best to protect them and provide all the support we can. It's a natural instinct to step in and help. Many of us sat up late helping with a last-minute term paper emergency because our child didn't start early enough or felt stuck. 

But this approach can prevent growth. There's a fine line between providing parental guidance, which children truly need while growing up, and overprotective parenting. It's important for children to work independently, learn from their mistakes, and experience any consequences. These are important skills they will use in school and later in life.

What does this mean academically?

Long-Term Projects

Let's take long-term, multi-step assignments--the research project, the term paper, the science fair. It can be daunting to start a complicated task and see it through to the end. Students often don't know where to start, or feel overwhelmed by the magnitude. It might be tempting to dive in and work on the project together. 

Put in some time at the beginning to map out a plan. Encourage your child to break the project down into steps well ahead of time and estimate how much time each portion will take. They could work on the project 20 minutes every day, for example. They should use a checklist and mark the steps in their daily planner, then review their progress on each step. That way, they are taking responsibility and ownership rather than depending on you to get it done.

Identify the Problem Source

Parents can help by asking questions to uncover the source of the problem. Ask where they feel stuck, if any portion of the assignment is confusing, and how much time they have been spending on it each day. Review their system of organization and how they are keeping track of assignments and items. Daily planner use and a binder divided into subjects and sub-tasks will help them easily see what they need to do that day and what's coming up.

Encourage Reflection

Let's say a student stayed up late working on a paper they left to the last minute. Or they forgot their homework binder one yet again and Mom or Dad didn't bail them out by driving to school to pick it up. Or they didn't listen in class when the teacher shared important details about an upcoming test, and did poorly on that portion of the test. 

That's a good time to gently encourage reflection and ask your child what they learned from the experience. How did being late and disorganized make them feel? How was their motivation level? Did other things take priority? How would success look in this circumstance, and what steps would they need to take to get there next time?

Answers to these questions will provide information about where they fell short and help guide your child to a better approach going forward.

Of course, your child doesn't need to struggle alone if there is a chronic problem, such as consistently bad grades or lack of motivation. That is a good time to consider supplemental options such as an executive coach, subject-area tutoring, after-school help, or additional resources. 

No one wants to see a child fail. But when they experience failure from time to time and learn from it, they will build a foundation of coping and project management skills that will help them succeed in the future. Children will become more resilient, and free to experiment and explore different ways of achieving their goals.

Choosing the Right Type of Support During Distance Learning

Written By: Coach Nathaniel Jenkins

 What’s the difference between tutoring and coaching? Tutoring is predominantly focused on the aspects of knowing, or obtaining, information on a given topic whereas coaching is focused on the steps needed to accomplish a task, it is about DOING. The difference between the two important styles, tutoring and coaching, are arguably more important now than ever as we all face the trials of COVID-19 and alternative forms of schooling. Even before the changes that came with COVID-19, it was easy to accidentally categorize someone as being in need of a tutor when they actually need a coach and vice versa. It is important for students with executive functioning difficulties to be focused on the DOING that comes with the direction of a coach especially when facing the challenges of navigating COVID-19.

For students with executive functioning disparities the understanding of a subject or topic in school may come easy to them, but when it comes to applying this knowledge and understanding when it really counts, they are unable to successfully recount what they know. Why is that? The answer can be as simple as misunderstanding what they need in order to be successful. They are unable to apply their understanding of a topic because they don’t know how. It may not be the need to practice or study more on a topic like what a tutor would do, but rather to apply these understandings and knowledge through a stronger grasp on executive functioning skills that comes from coaching

In some cases, the student may not need help in their math, science, or english class, but rather help in their delivery of knowledge through executive functioning skills taught through coaching. The problems may not lie in the grasping of the subject matter itself, but rather the carrying out of tasks that ultimately negatively affect performance when it comes to being tested on the subject matter; a lack of executive functioning skills may be the culprit. Executive functioning skills revolve around the concepts of time management, organization, study skills as well as communication skills-- that is what coaches are set out to help the student accomplish.

For instance, a coach may help younger students in early grade school organize and associate concepts or subjects better through color-coding whether it be a folder, highlighter, etc. Middle school and high school age students may respond better to a planner or calendar to help plan their schedule in advance for projects, homework, etc. and also organize what needs to come first to be on time and successful. Coaching isn’t about just understanding a subject, it is about understanding people. It depends on the student and that is where the coaching really comes into play.

To simply put it, a coach’s purpose is to set the student up for success in life past academics. The skills taught and instilled in the student are meant to apply to all facets of life because the student will not be in school forever. Succeeding in an academic setting isn’t always about being the smartest, it is about being the most prepared for what is to come. Being prepared means understanding how to manage time, organize, practice effective study skills, and even developing a greater understanding of communication skills. By seeking out a coach rather than a tutor for students that face challenges with executive functioning skills, the student can be set up for success that carries positive outcomes even outside of a school setting.

Tips for a Successful Interview

Over time, for one reason or another students are going to have to interview. Whether the student is interviewing for a job or college admissions interview skills are crucial to success. Being able to interview well is all about impression management. We teach our students to manage their impressions they leave on others. The real world is all about social connections and how you present yourself to others is extremely important. 

It is becoming increasingly key to have strong interview skills even as a high school student. Teaching these skills is sometimes difficult because most resources are geared towards adults. However, we have come up with an easy process to follow to help your student feel confident going into an interview. 

Managing the first impression

Did you know it takes just seven seconds for a first impression to form?

• Make sure you look your best, dress nicely in clean clothes without rips or stains. Make sure your clothes fit appropriately and are not wrinkled. This is a great initial way to show the interviewer that you are taking the interview seriously.

• It is better to be overdressed than underdressed.

• Make sure that you communicate appropriately before the interview via email or over the phone. Writing an effective email or speaking professionally over the phone is a crucial part of landing the interview in the first place. 

• Punctuality is a major concern for employers and late arrival will often lower your chances of landing the job. Always try to arrive five to fifteen minutes early to your interview. Even if you have to wait, it shows you take the potential position seriously. 

Maintaining a good impression

• Introduce yourself and shake hands with the interviewer. Smile, speak clearly, and make eye contact.

• Be prepared to answer questions about your skills, personality, and past experiences. It is important to be prepared to discuss why you are interested in the job and why you would be a good fit.  Employers want to hire employees who show a positive attitude and are truly interested in the work they will be doing. The same goes for college interviews. If you don’t seem interested in their school, they may not want to admit you, even if you have all the qualifications. Before the interview, ask a parent or friend to ask you mock questions so you are prepared for the interview. 

• Make sure you practice sitting up straight and having your hands placed in your lap. This will allow it to be natural on the day of. 

• Make sure to put your phone on silent and out of eye sight. Resist the temptation to check your phone at any time when you are in view of the interviewer. Employers are very concerned about losing productivity among employees who are constantly checking their phones.

• Employers want upbeat workers who don’t bring a negative attitude to the job. Showing your good attitude in the interview will help you land the position. The same rule applies for admissions interviews and volunteer or internship opportunities.  

• Reflect the three Cs during the interview: cool, calm, and confident.

Following up

• This is the time to really show your manners. After your interview, make sure to send a short email or make a quick phone call to thank your interviewer for taking the time to meet/talk with you and be sure to mention that you are excited about the opportunity to work at the company. Use correct grammar and punctuation to show your skill set. 

Impression management is a skill that will carry students throughout their lives and teaching it now will help them prepare for their future. Our academic coaches teach students about the importance of utilizing resources such as teachers, counselors, advisors, parents, peers, etc. to maximize their success. They will also work with students on preparing their resumes, as well as discussing and preparing for interviews, this may include interview role play and critiquing.  Give us a call for more information!

What are Executive Functioning Skills?

Written by: Coach Lauren Bachand

Executive functioning skills are those higher cognitive skills that are required to successfully plan and carry out various actions during the day. They include attention, planning, prioritizing, and organization. They are used for memory, reflection, and inhibition control. But what exactly is the big deal with executive functioning? And why get a tutor that focuses specifically on planning and organization instead of your child’s “problem” subjects and poor grades? 

Well to start, the reason for academic failure normally has little to do with a lack of understanding the information and more to do with the processing and storing of the information. Executive functioning skills, or EF for short, are those skills controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain. This is the last part of the brain to develop and mature, but it is also the most influenced during childhood development. Just like academic subjects in school, EF skills are learned, however they are not necessarily intuitive.   

Let’s take a look at our lives as adults to help conceptualize what they are, and role our EF skills play in our daily lives. 

For many of us, our day actually starts the night before. We might set an alarm, or check to ensure our alarm is set for the right time. (And, if you are anything like me- set a second, and a third. Just in case.) The next morning when you wake up, you prioritize the first things to do without much thought. Maybe one child struggles with getting up in the morning, or has to be to school earlier than the others, so you wake them first. You get dressed, set out breakfast, create your children’s lunches, or pull aside cash for hot meals. When you arrive at work you check your emails. You effortlessly categorize and prioritize which ones to answer before your 10 o’clock meeting. That afternoon you use Google Maps to determine the best route to get to your children’s school in time for pickup. You notice there is an accident, adjust your route and call the school to let them know you may be late. Once you arrive home you realize you are out of milk and write a memo to pick more up the next day. You look in the pantry, problem-solve, and cook dinner. You usher your children to bed, and then it is time to start all over again. 

 As an adult, you used your EF skills naturally and unconsciously. You adapt, problem-solve, and overcome obstacles with little second-thought. A child, especially once with learning differences which create EF deficits, may run into numerous bumps in the road during your day. They might forget to set their alarm the night before and wake up late, take too long answering emails and miss the morning meeting, see an accident on the route and not adjust or call the school to warn about being late, or they might forget to write the memo for milk. 

 If we were to translate this information to your child’s everyday life in an academic setting, you might notice that they forget to write down the deadline for an upcoming project. They might spend too long working on a homework worksheet that is only worth five points, instead of studying for a test that is worth 50 points. They might pick a topic to research that is too challenging, but they do not adjust the subject or ask the teacher for help. Or, they might forget to bring their textbooks home to complete their homework. 

 While your child’s academic coach will work with them on developing these skills during their sessions, it is also important they are developed daily around the house. So what are some things you can do to help your child develop and mature their EF skills, maximizing their future success? Well, to start the best (and easiest) way is to model the behavior yourself. 

 Here are four easy ideas to do together with your child:

• Create a wall calendar for you and your child

Calendars are a great way for anyone to stay organized and on top of their game. It is the perfect way to foster planning, time management, scheduling skills, and foresight. 

Begin with buying one large dry erase calendar (22in by 18in) for yourself and one for your child. These can be found on Amazon. Then, set aside one night at the end of the month, like the last Sunday, to sit with your child and schedule out the month in advance. Add work deadlines, appointments, and reminders on your calendar, while encouraging your child to fill in the deadlines for large assignments, tests, and extracurricular activities such as sports practices and tournaments on theirs. Then, create the habit of marking off each day together before going to bed. Children are visual learners, and being able to see approaching deadlines help them prioritize and schedule appropriately. 

•  Create a nightly checklist for you and your child

Checklists are a great way to foster organization and other skills needed to prioritize tasks. It provides a sense of accomplishment, and help reduce stress and anxiety. 

Begin by having you and your child create two or three goals you would like to complete by the end of the next day. These goals can be work/academic related, or they can be broader goals like remembering to wash the dishes or making a doctors appointment. At the end of each day, sit with your child and mark off which goals were met. For goals that weren’t met, ask questions such as “what prevented me from doing this goal today?” This tip can be used to foster a sense of accomplishment, be used as an incentive for “screen time” or another “fun” activity your child enjoys. If you and your child are competitive, this can become a fun game to see who can complete all of their goals each day. 

•  Set out clothes for the next morning with your child

Preparing for the morning the night before fosters skills related to time management and organization. It reduces stress, anxiety, and frustration during morning routines.

Begin by checking the next day’s weather with your child. Now, with smartphones and in-home devices such as Alexa and Google Home- this step couldn’t get any simpler. Once you have determined the weather, work with your child to put aside an outfit. If your child has a uniform, this is the time for them to ensure all of the parts are washed and accounted for. If your child does not have a uniform, this is their chance to put together a cohesive, dress-code and weather appropriate outfit that matches their personality. While they put aside their outfit, you also have the chance to ensure you have everything you need for the next morning, potentially putting a small load in the washer and dryer before bed or ironing a pair of slacks. Once each of your outfits are picked out, you can each place them on the back of the bedroom doors using a hook. 

•  Involve your child in cooking or meal preps

Cooking uses every EF skill there is. It fosters organizational, time management, working memory, and attention skills. Children must learn to use foresight and create grocery lists, gather and organize ingredients, time manage and prioritize what to cook when based on varying cook times, and attend tasks while cooking. Even better, it develops self-confidence in your child and a sense of accomplishment when they serve the meal to the family.  

Begin by scheduling one day a week that your child is responsible for making dinner. I encourage parents to have their child make dinner since it is a meal the entire family can enjoy together. Once the day has been scheduled, help your child select meals you know they can accomplish with minimal assistance. Encourage your child to do as much of the meal independently as possible. These do not have to be complicated meals. Spaghetti with meat sauce, club sandwiches, baked ziti, hotdogs, or hamburgers are all examples of simple meals children can create with minimal assistance.

 For more information about Executive Functioning, click here: https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/executive-functioning-issues/3-areas-of-executive-function