We know that it takes a village to raise a child, but I would argue that the same holds true for shepherding a student through K-12 education – and even beyond. The Heckscher Foundation estimates that there are over nine million youth in the United States without a caring adult in their lives, and while the foundation advocates mentoring specifically from the private sector, I assert that the most effective web of support for a student is three-part: parents, teachers, and a mentor.
Parents
Parents play the most crucial role in the development of a child – they are the most consistent and long-term relationship the student will have. A parent’s role in their child’s education is to provide the longstanding perspective. Parents can identify their child’s needs and communicate them with the other members of the support system.
Children also need to feel that their parents are interested in the various aspects of their lives. This means carving out fun family time as well as monitoring the student’s academic performance. If the only message that a child hears from his parent is the berating message “Have you finished your homework?” This will risk creating an uneasy dynamic in the relationship or inducing anxiety that will show its effects in grades or emotional health.
Nonetheless, parents are well-placed to play the role of the authoritative monitor to keep their children accountable. The limits they set for their children with screen time and curfews can also promote a responsible sense of scheduling, workflow management, and a healthy work-life balance. They also have the luxury of having their relationship with their children evolve over time.
Teachers
Although teachers change every year, at six or more hours per day, they are the person a student has the longest daily contact with. Teachers also have the most training out of the three parties and can astutely assess areas in a student’s life to strengthen as well as make recommendations on how to do so. However, while most teachers are competent and well-meaning, the reality is that they are often responsible for more than twenty pupils at any given time and cannot meet the individual needs that a student may have.
On the other hand, students that show initiative and engagement with the subject matter are rarely turned away. Students having a particularly hard time in a class should set up an individual appointment with the teacher after school or during lunch to discuss the issue, whether it be with the curriculum itself or the modality of evaluation. This proactivity will likely gain extra empathy from the teacher and lead to creative problem solving or accommodations to address their concerns . Ultimately, the teacher is someone that the student has a vested interest in having on their side.
Mentors
Mentors are the last piece of the puzzle of student success. These mentors could take many forms: tutors, volunteers from the private sector, or coaches. Whatever title that the mentor may have, their niche in the student’s life remains the same; they are neither a peer nor an authoritative figure. This means that the mentor can – and must – build an organic relationship with his mentee all the while providing advice informed by life experience.
As an academic coach, I often tell my students, “Part of being a good friend is helping you think through the consequences of your actions.” This means that when a student doesn’t invest enough time in their time management, organization, studying, or behavioral problems, I help them draw the line between these causes and their stress, late nights, poor results, and/or punishments. However, a good mentor shouldn’t leave his student in a state of despair by only pointing out the negative but offer practical solutions on improvement for the future. And as with the parents, there must be more of a message being transmitted than, “Do this” and “Don’t do that.” This means taking the time to listen to the student about their day, friends, and interests.
Mentors also provide the student with the advantage of having a relationship tailored to their needs.
The Network
Student success is facilitated when all the moving pieces of the machine are working in harmony and communicating with each other. Parents should be voicing their child’s needs; teachers should offer their observations and expertise; and mentors should relay relevant information that a student may not feel comfortable sharing with an authoritative figure. Practically, having periodical check-ins with the different parties in person or over email is a good habit to adopt.
The common belief a student needs to have in parents, teachers, and mentors is that they want him to succeed. On top of providing subject support and demanding excellence, a student’s support system must be just that – supportive. The adults must be the student’s biggest cheerleaders and believe in his potential.
Academic success transcends the boundaries of the classroom and the bubbles of a scantron – it requires building an entire environment that is monitoring and addressing a student’s academic and socio-emotional needs from tutoring to mental health. It may take a village, but all the village needs to be is attentive and supportive.
Written by: Coach Daniel Aste
